Spongebob and Patrick Smoke Some Doobies
by Scarlet Flowers
Summary: Spongebob discovers why Patrick has always been so "confused"... and then tries some himself. Various other characters join in eventually. Please rr.
1. Patrick's not stupid he's stoned!

[A/N- I was extremely bored and thought to myself, "Hey, why don't I write a story in which Spongebob and Patrick smoke some doobies?" Please R/R, do your thing. Written in script form because I feel too lazy to write it the real way.]  
  
-------------------------  
  
FRENCH GUY: It's a beautiful day in Bikini Bottom. The jellyfish are buzzing, the sun is shining, and the air is filled with the tantalizing aroma of. seaweed smoke?!  
  
[Spongebob has just ended his shift at the Krusty Crab. Before leaving, Mr. Krabs pays him. Reluctantly, he leaves work. He wishes he could work every hour of every day. Spongebob goes straight to Patrick's house.]  
  
SPONGEBOB: (knocks on rock) Hey, buddy, are you home?  
  
PATRICK: (opens rock and smoke billows out) Heeey, man. Wassup?  
  
SPONGEBOB: I have all this money, and I don't know what to do with it! I wish Mr. Krabs wouldn't give me so much!  
  
PATRICK: (thinks for a moment) I know something we can buy that'll be loads of fun.  
  
SPONGEBOB: Hah! More fun than bubbles? I doubt it!  
  
PATRICK: But it is! (lowers voice) We can go buy some seaweed.  
  
SPONGEBOB: (appalled) But Patrick! Seaweed is a drug! If you do seaweed, then you'll end up a jobless loser living under a rock watching cartoons all day!  
  
[There's an awkward silence. Spongebob slowly realizes that his seemingly retarded best friend is actually a habitual seaweed smoker.]  
  
SPONGEBOB: So that's why you're so confused all the time. I thought it was because you swallowed paint as a child!  
  
PATRICK: (blinks) Yeah, so, I know this great place in Bikini Wax where we can score some stuff. Ready?  
  
SPONGEBOB: I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready, ready, ready eddy eddy ready!  
  
[Spongebob and Patrick get on the next bus to nearby Bikini Wax]  
  
-------------------------  
  
[A/N- This first chapter was boring, I promise it'll get better! R/R por favor.] 


	2. Squidward joins in

[A few hours later, Spongebob and Patrick are sitting in Spongebob's living room smoking it up.]  
  
SPONGEBOB: (giggles) This stuff is the-haha- best- hahaa! How come we've never - hahahha! done this before hahaa?  
  
PATRICK: Yo dude, mellow out. No more for you for awhile. (takes joint away from Spongebob)  
  
[This was a very stupid thing to do. Spongebob starts growling and attacks Patrick, groping for the joint.]  
  
SPONGEBOB: (takes a hit) Ahhh.. much better.. hey man, what is up with the cops? All they try to do is keep us down, but we just wanna be high! We gotta fight them back, man, unless they're gonna win! And then we can't be high anymore! We have to be low! And that's sooo square!  
  
[There is a knock on the door. Patrick answers, and it's Squidward!]  
  
SQUIDWARD: I was trying to play my clarinet when I caught a whiff of something very suspicious.. ha! I knew it! You two are smoking seaweed! You two will finally be gone once I tell the cops!  
  
PATRICK: Squidward, let's chat..  
  
[Patrick leads Squidward over to the couch and sits him down. Squidward opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted when Patrick shoves the joint in his mouth.]  
  
SQUIDWARD: Ack! (spits on the floor) Stop it! Seaweed is terrible!  
  
PATRICK: Man, open your eyes!  
  
[Patrick puts the joint back in Squidward's mouth. This time, Squidward takes a hit.]  
  
SQUIDWARD: Whoaaa.. (picks up his clarinet and plays a song perfectly)  
  
PATRICK: See, I told you so!  
  
SQUIDWARD: (starts crying) This has changed my life! You guys are the best ever! (attemps to kiss both Patrick and Spongebob)  
  
PATRICK: Whoa man, none of that for us. [A/N- come on, we all know Squid's gay! just come out already!]  
  
[There is another knock on the door. This time it's.. dun dun dun.. MR. KRABS!!]  
  
MR. KRABS: Just what the barnacle do you think you're doing, Spongebob?! You're fired!!  
  
To be continued.. 


End file.
